An Interview With The Beautiful Paige Knudsen

I am so excited to share with you this special interview with Paige Knudsen. What an honor and a tremendous blessing for me. Many of you know Paige from her beautiful blog Simple Thoughts. She is very loved in the blog world ! And who doesn't absolutely love her sense of style, ( that house!) the way she loves her family and her heart for the Lord ( my kind of girl) and those gorgeous photographs! But recently my admiration of her doubled and tripled into complete and total awe after I read her Dec. 8th blog post.


 Many of her loyal readers will remember it by the fact that you had to stop reading and get the Kleenex.  I was absolutely blown away. By her story. (I had no idea) By her testimony (Go God!) And I was blown away by her ability to keep the faith. (How did she manage?) That was it! I had to know and I think all of you should know as well. I pray you are inspired today.

May I present.....

An Interview with the beautiful Paige Knudsen:

The Same God

P and G: I was so moved by your December 8th blog post in which you shared pieces of your amazing story. Would you mind to share your story again for those who are new readers?

Paige:  First of all sweet friend I am so touched by your desire to know a little about my story. It's a strange dichotomy ....the "me" now living in what seems like a fairy tale with my soul mate, 13 years after losing my first true love and the "then" me, this young mother watching a strong, viral, handsome man passing into another world. The two me's don't often overlap in my current world because of where I live and the ages of my girls. Many don't know the "then" me or they might have heard, but let's face it--who wants to ask and bring up some sad story? So I appreciate your tender heart and that you want to know. 

Paige: My story...

13 years ago my husband Gregg lost his battle with cancer. He had been diagnosed with metastatic melanoma and was under treatment for 7 1/2 months before he passed away. Gregg and I were married for 5 years. During that time I graduated from nursing school, we bought a new house and a new car, he coached basketball and soccer, he taught high school and was also a youth pastor. I bought and ran a small business and we had 3 beautiful, perfect little girls together.

Gregg was one of those guys who could do everything and do it well. He was an exceptional athlete playing both college basketball and running track. He and I had began our relationship by running together. He trained for marathons while I trained for the half! He had a very fun and outgoing personality. He was very smart and romantic. He loved to send me flowers. He was so creative with our time together, often planning fun events for our dates and planning a wonderful honeymoon in the wine country. He loved to travel. He loved our convertible. He was loved and admired by so many. He was called "my best friend" by dozens of guys. He loved me and his precious little girls.

He was so brave while he faught that nasty disease. I truly believe that every day he fought, he believed he could beat it. He had hope no matter what the doctors told him, 13 years
sounds like a life time ago doesn't it? 

It's funny there are so many details from those days that I remember vividly.

~What I was wearing while we sat across from the doctor who gave us the devastating blow.
~The movie that ended just moments before he took his last breath. 

~There are more... but there are so many things I don't remember.

~I don't remember exactly who was in the hospital room with me as we watched him take             his last breath.

~I can't remember the last words we spoke to each other before he became unconscious.

Many of my friends that I have now didn't even know me back then, much less know of Gregg. Many of the people I have contact with now probably do not even know that I was a widow when I was 30 years old and all three of my girls were under the age of three.

But in these thirteen years I have learned many things.

That the Lord saw every tear and did hear every prayer that was lifted for Gregg.
That life isn't fair but we have a Savior who knows that. That I could make it, by simply getting out of bed each day and taking just one moment (literally) at a time. That I could raise these three little girls who would really never know how many people loved & prayed for them. That Gregg must be so proud as he watches Savannah, Madison & Emily from Heaven. That we will indeed see him again.

The Lord sent an amazing man into my life. Dan was Gregg's roomate.  Dan was actually in my wedding to Gregg! We fell in love a few years after Gregg passed.  I fully believe Gregg will give Dan a huge high five followed by a hug & say "Way to go man, who'da thought?"

Dan is my soul mate. I feel like he is the tangible love of our Heavenly Father.

I feel he shows , what are now four daughters the love of their Heavenly Father.

I am blessed....

The same God who was with me while I wept beside the grave was most definitely, emphatically, without a doubt the same God who was with me on my wedding day again years later. 

P and G:  Considering what you've been through in life, some may wonder how on earth you didn't turn away from God. What "kept you" in a relationship with Him after losing your first husband? 

Paige: Have you heard the song by Mercy Me?

The writer so eloquently states.....

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times.

Paige: Why didn't I turn from God?  How could I?

 He is the only true God.  I knew in my heart of hearts that He loved me. He loved Gregg.  He loved my babies.  But I know we live in a fallen world.  Sadly, sin and disease is a part of this earth.  We weren't created to live with horrible diseases & watch those we love waste away.  I know, one day every knee will bow & every tongue will most certainly confess HE is LORD. I don't understand the "whys."  And I'm quite certain I would never dare to stand before a Holy God and ask Him why awful, terrible, heartbreaking things happen. 

He is faithful.  He is my hope.  He is worthy of my praise....especially when my praise is a sacrifice.

P and G : How did you manage Motherhood and the demands of life by yourself with three precious angels under the age of three? How did you keep going with a three year old, a 19 month old and a 10 week old baby?

Paige : I truly believe I entertained angels during those days ....both during the end of his life and my days as a young widow.  I believe the Lord sent a couple of friends and families who loved on us in very real and very tangible ways.  They made meals, cookies for the girls, bought them clothes, held one while I nursed another. They wrapped me with their earthly arms, yet I know it was the love of my Heavenly Father flowing through them.  Reminding me He was still there with me....every day and that His mercies would indeed be new every morning.

I won't lie to you.  There were days I felt completely all alone.  I felt completely vulnerable.  I was afraid.  I knew of no one who could understand how I felt.  I feared how my little girls would thrive in a home with a single mom.  There were days when thoughts of the future completely washed me over and left me standing there stripped and fearful of the unknown. Daily I read His promises over and over.  I needed Him desperately and His peace which He promised would indeed pass all of my understanding.

P and G:  Tell me about Dan and about how the two of you came to be a family. I know how rare it is to find someone who will love you and your children and desire to create a family with all of you.


Paige: We began dating about two and half years later.  Dan was 41 years old when we married. He had never been married. He had never told another woman he loved her!  I felt like the Lord had just given me this pure man as an enormous gift.  A gift I often feel I don't  deserve.

Dan adopted my three daughters and they took his last name.  He treats them exactly as if they were his biological children. I can honestly tell you it was a seamless transition.

Savannah was 6 when we married. I'll never forgot her response when I told her. She said, "Mommy, I'll always love my Daddy, but I'm very glad God has sent us this new Daddy." When Dan adopted them, Savannah dropped her middle name and kept Gregg's last name as her new middle name. 

P and G:  Tears.

P and G: Did you feel like you had come into the full recompense of God when you met, married and were blessed with another little one together? 

Paige:  Dan and I had two miscarriages late in the first trimester before we had Caroline. That was a very painful time for me. But the Lord did bless us with Caroline--she is the spitting image of her Daddy, while Emily ( the youngest of my older three) is the spitting image of her biological Daddy.  I love that!

P and G: And your beautiful daughters, how did they adjust and ultimately choose to love and serve God as well?

Paige: My eldest daughter Savannah, and I currently disciple a group of middle schoolers at our church.  This is possibly one of the most amazing things I've ever witnessed--watching her pour into these young girls some of what's been poured into her heart over the years.  I love watching her encourage them in their walk with the Lord! 

"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth" ~ 3 John 1:4

P and G: Have you always had a relationship with the Lord? How would you describe your relationship with Him?

Paige: 

I feel that my relationship and growth with the Lord has been in four different phases of my life. I grew up in a christian home and became a christian as a little girl.  But when I was discipled in my early twenties by a mentor I feel like I really dug in and had a personal relationship with Him.

As a single mom, I felt my relationship was one of protection and guidance.

I feel that the last 10 years have possibly been the most significant in my daily dependence.

  

I mentioned earlier that we had two miscarriages.  I sometimes think I dealt with alot of the grief of Gregg's death actually during that time.  I wonder if I just felt that having Dan beside me I could actually grieve. I cried very little when Gregg was sick.  I was afraid if I started that I might not stop . Ever.  So I just sucked it up, pulled up my boot straps and did what needed to be done.  

The safety and security of my marriage now afforded me the safety net to grieve those losses.  During that time I also began a struggle with fear. Something that I still cope with now.  I guess having been a nurse for many years and taking care of cancer patients has left me with a vulnerability.

A couple of years ago I experienced the end of a lifelong friendship.  That was a very, very painful process. A loss I didn't quite understand. During this time I really needed the Lord to help me not only with healing but also with forgiveness.

Currently, I am knee deep in raising teenage daughters. (16, 14, 13)  I have never felt a more sense of urgency to teach them and to have them grounded in this truth.

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God"    Ephesians 3.17-19

I can't imagine going through any stress and not having hope in the Lord. What else is there?  I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that we have a Heavenly Father who longs to be in a relationship with us. The entire bible, chapter after chapter is His story of redemption, not only of His people but for all people.

P and G:  What words of hope and encouragement would you like to offer readers who feel as if God doesn't love them or worse that He has forgotten them?

Paige:   I think there are days and situations where we believe 'surely He will save us from a sad ending.' Whatever that sad ending might be. If we pray hard enough.  Promise to stop whatever sin we think might be the key. If we just have enough faith.  If we just listen to enough positive thinking.  Especially the speakers that quote all the health and wealth promises. If we cross our fingers, get up on the right side of the bed, endless lists of the "ifs." Then surely the "it" will be "and they lived happily ever after."

The happily ever after isn't truly on this side of Heaven.

I know we have the arms of a Jesus who loves us.  Who died so we can be with Him in glory one day.  In health and true joy. Until then....I will lift my eyes to the hills , my help comes from the Lord . He is an ever present God who loves us and will gently wipe away our tears one day and I will praise him now even if in sacrifice.

He is the same God.

Stories of Hope-Paige from gfc.tv Videos on Vimeo.

Dearest Paige,
Thank you for entrusting me with your story. What a honor. I pray that readers will be moved, inspired, touched and find their own faith growing by leaps and bounds. I pray that readers will begin to trust God on a new level for their own journey and I thank you again for your courage and for your willingness to share so that others may come to know Him through your incredible testimony. May He be glorified.




Please visit Paige at her beautiful blog : Simple Thoughts